Ah, patience, my most lacking of virtues. I am a very ambitious person and have noticed that ambition tends to displace any bit of patience that is naturally in my character. It is easy for me to confuse patience with failure to act on a teachable moment or a lack of discipline. I have learned from having a home daycare and 4 children of my own that patience takes WAY more discipline (on my part anyway) than jumping in to "correct" an action. I have also learned that it is all about my perception. My husband and I have set many goals with our children to help them to grow to be successful adults. But sometimes we need to step back and realize that they are still kids and that some days, for whatever reason, anything that can go wrong, will. The way we react to these missteps will probably teach our children more than the mere setting of goals ever could. This is a major challenge for me so I have come up with a list of things to redefine my perception of patience to help me keep it in perspective. So, whether you are a parent or not, I hope you will enjoy my list and maybe gain a new view on patience.
Patience is...
- Keeping realistic expectations. (I'm not perfect and I can't expect them to be.)
- Blowing it off instead of blowing it up. (Seriously, some days I feel like blowing something up! This is not a metaphor!)
- Being aware of the appropriate context for certain actions (i.e. It is appropriate to throw something at your children as long as you are playing dodgeball.)
- Appreciating the fact that the kids are cleaning the floor and overlooking the fact that it is because of the massive milk spill.
- Letting them form alliances. (I'm pretty sure I heard the little one call me a "pickle-face" to the older ones today when she thought I wasn't listening. I could have intervened, but it gave her a new level of respect among them so... meh.)
- Remembering that they grow up too fast. Even though it can be really hard sometimes, it's going to be really hard when they are gone.
I'd say it's about the same for me. I really have to choose my battles with Little Miss Stubborn Pants. I've also had to be really careful about the kind of correction I give her. Sometimes she needs a rebuke, other times just instruction. I try to be really careful about instructing her without being frustrated or angry. I want her to grow and be able to talk to me and she won't if every time we talk I'm grouchy.
ReplyDeletePatience is....not blowing up at your 6 year-old because she tells you over and over that 120 is one before 130. Okay, so I did blow up...I'm a patience failure.
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness though, one trick with patience that I've leard has to do with getting ready to go somewhere. I plan for ample time to get everyone ready because I learned early on that the "hurry, hurry, get going, stop being so pokey, get moving" "cheers" do not motivate small children.
Patience is also realizing that once something is said it takes a bit to process. We don't expect immediate obedience. First-time obedience yes, but expecting a small child to jump into action as soon as a request is uttered is unrealistic.
I'm still learning that patience is taking more time to spend with the kids and less time agonizing about all the things that are being deglected. Laundry stinks if it's neglected, but opportunities are missed if children are...that's a daily one for me (both laundry and children...lol!)